Itās been a minute! A whole month. Figure itās time for an update.
With lots of intensive therapy, Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous meetings, and the support of my partner and friends, Iāve made a ton of progress in my sex addiction. This isnāt to say the cravings arenāt there; I easily become obsessed again. But Iām learning mindfulness and coming to recognize many of the cravings as warning signs, and Iām learning new ways to tend to those needs. Iām not asexual by any means; thereās sex that I earnestly want to have, and I intend to have it. But right now, Iām enjoying the peace.
Iām keeping my account because I love the old content and I know you do too! I encourage everyone to buy a year subscription so you have access to the vault without having to pay for monthly content that doesnāt exist; if youād like to, send me a message and weāll work it out. (I canāt discount it more than $30 on my profile, but for long-term subscribers Iām happy to offer it much cheaper or even for free for the die-hards ā so reach out and I can give you a better deal.)
Iām so proud of the sexy content that I made, the relationships I formed, the way Iāve learned about myself, and how fully I have claimed my sexuality and the gaze of the camera. Before, I had a lot of painful experiences with video and pictures, but I own my image now. Iāve made thousands off it. Iāve cum so hard watching myself. Itās a powerful feeling. And itās been really fun!
Iām not closing the door to exploring this all again. I have an open mind about where my relationship with sex will go. But it doesnāt feel right to keep this profile up without saying something to the people who have supported me. And Iāve had a nagging stress in my mind that I havenāt posted in so long, so I need some closure at this point, but not so much closure that I want to delete my account. I donāt have plans to do that ever.
Youāve been incredible fans, friends, and fuck buddies. Thank you for subscribing and watching, and for being part of this journey with me!
ps: the beauty Iām kissing here is @lenalazuli, a good friend of mine and an amazing slut ā check her out š
happy birthday to me :) I chopped my hair off and now my partner is here to spank me until I bruise and use my cute little mouth spoil me with a surprise if you liked my last video š https://www.amazon.com/hz/wis…
I made my Amazon wishlist good and now it includes a truly chaotic mix: a couple of BDSM-y toys, slutty athleisure, dykey boots, skincare, mental health stuff, random shit I need for my house, gluten free pasta (did u know? Iām celiac!), and fucking CHARGERS why are all my CHARGERS BROKEN anyway if youāre the type of person who likes buying random presents now I have a list š the link is in my profile!
conservatory flash for good luck (RIP getting to go to conservatories)
So Iāve decided against a hiatus, but I will not be as attentive to my DMs while I focus my time & energy on sobriety š I love sharing and I love all yāall and I am so glad youāre still here!
uh.........so...........the first time I did anal I took a picture of the gape and I recently found the pic of my 21 yr old ass and have been advised that it is āhotā and āshould be postedā so here we go. do you like it? Itās quite intimate! Behold, my college-aged soul!
happy football season - wanna watch the game with me? i donāt care much for sports but iād love to explore my own hobbies with you...or maybe i should say on you...?
proud of myself for starting recovery for sex & love addiction AND proud of myself for being such a hot slut ~the dialectic~
thanks for your patience, yāall. your warmth and support has been tremendous; i truly canāt believe how lucky i am to have this community of kind slut-lovers who genuinely care about me. it heals my soul!
obviously i have a lot to mull over about my relationship with my porn, but for now it feels right to post the rest of my old nudes and videos. hopefully i will find space for making new content in a healthy, mindful way ššš
I have a sexy story behind this photo set (from 2016! itās vintage!) but my brain is weird and different right now and writing things is hard so I must present it without comment but I promise Iāll add the good story soon! I think itās still p good on itās own!
i canāt believe itās not blowjobs ā¢ ~ this time itās anal!
A COVID scare in my friend group has my filming plans on hold for another 9 days š So I must resort to combing the archives to keep the good content coming. Letās start all the way back in 2013: everyone inexplicably likes Macklemore and Robin Thicke, the government has its first shutdown, Becca graduates from college... Let me spin you a yarn:
I spent much of my 20ās with an charming, quiet gym rat I called Daddy. Were we a good match romantically? Errr...no. Was the sex incredible? Well I stayed for 6 years so uh, yeah. The sex was everything.
He found me on FetLife and sent me a haiku about my tits. Hours later we were at the bar. We got shitfaced and I sucked his cock in the cab, only to turn him away when we got to my place (too messed up for either party to really consent, and I care about that shit). Even though Iād been a real wacko on the first date (I cried twice?) he wanted to fuck the crazy slut who didnāt let him get it in, so he went for a second date.
Iād been dating some other guy, a skinny little freak who liked to fuck my ass and cover me in p*ss, but I found out he voted Romney in 2012 and lost interest. (Seriously, Romney?) So who was going to treat me like I needed to be treated? Sure, the random guy with the big dick Iād blown in a cab the week prior. He was hot. Why not? (As an aside: Iām kind of a dick and didnāt dump the kinky Republican until a few weeks into dating my new Daddy, and I showed up to my last time with the GOPās finest with āproperty of [full name]ā still on my ass. No ragrets.)
Back to the second date with the man who was about to become my Daddy: We went to dinner in Curry Hill (sexy!) and Iām sure it was a nice time but we had business to get to and he knew where to do it. He took me to the St. Markās Hotel, which was at the time an cheap, dirty place you could rent by the hour. He proceeded to destroy my tight 22 year old body as we watched ourselves in the giant mirror next to the bed. āLook at yourself. Youāre a dirty slut,ā he commanded, and I obeyed, obsessed with how incredible I looked, in my element, taking a stranger, who I wasnāt even sure I liked. (He was kind of an asshole, tbh. And as much as I resented his brusque manner, it made me wet.) He brought a spermicide condom which like, absolutely no way, but I needed his thick cock inside me so...well, I let him plow me raw as he pulled me by my hair onto his bare cock.
He covered my face with cum and took a picture for posterity, one I would return to often over the next six years, which I now present to you. I was proud, happy, spent, and even a bit scared of how much I liked it. I liked how hard he took me and the possessive lust in his eyes as he became addicted to my tiny cunt. And I was instantly hooked on his cock, which curved in just the right way to rub my g spot. I came on his dick many, many times in the years ahead ā when he gave me permission, of course.
He ended it in 2015 a few months after I entered full-time treatment for my broken brain; it was just too much for either of us to take. But within weeks we were back at it and we continued fucking constantly for the next 4 years, sometimes quasi-dating but eventually getting into a weekly routine of takeout, then him watching TV while I sucked his cock, then him using me like a sex doll, almost always sans foreplay. I liked it that way; I like to be an object. After a few comfortable years I discovered RAOBJ in 2019 and he grew tired of how much cocksucking Iād gotten into with men who werenāt him (plus, he met some younger blonde who wanted him to get serious; straight people love monogamy I suppose). We grew distant for some time, but we would have surely gotten back together yet again a few weeks later if my new owner didnāt resent him so deeply. He and I donāt talk much these days, but Iām grateful for the many years he made me his slut, for his strength in using me, and for the deep throat training he made me do. Look at me now: my throat is thriving thanks to him, and thanks to my very strict new owner Iām better trained than ever. (And Iām blissfully in love in ways I didnāt know were possible. Turns out that despite the cock addiction Iām pretty gay. Who knew?)
My pussy is wet looking at this picture. Itās not the memory of him that does it; that chapter of my life is over. Iām turned on by myself in my slut glory, so blissfully intoxicated on cock, and perfectly glazed kneeling on the dirty floor. This is who I am. This is who I have always been. And I couldnāt be happier.
My owner would like everyone to know that she is the only person who Iām a slut for and everyone else is lucky to be able to watch me. She has a good point!!!
(More stuff to watch this weekend, thanks for your patience as I readjust to the city and start my sobriety journey)
Iāve been sitting on this video for some time. I filmed it in early August 2019 on a sunlit āwork from homeā afternoon. Thereās a little tit-fucking and ass-eating and deep-throating and itās overall a very fun time. And yet...
Itās extremely silly. Thereās silly laughter. Thereās a silly sound. I am hoping youāll find it endearing but I must warn you that it ends with laughter, not a cum shot. So youāve been warned: this video might be hot, but itās also silly, and if you donāt want to see something a little bit silly, probably keep scrolling. For the rest of you: here goes...
Filming for the first time with a new boy tonight. Where should he cum? ETA: I failed you! We didnāt take any footage! He gave me a lovely throatpie but I return now sans evidence. Iāll get a good facial for yāall this weekend š
I wanted him to fuck me even though I couldnāt bring him inside. (In this pandemic? In THIS childhood home?) He led me to the stone path beside him and pointed to get on my back. My ass felt the cold kiss of damp stone as I spread my legs, eager to take his big, married dick. A dirty slut, waiting in the dirt.
I growled. He climbed on top of me.
As his cum leaked out of my pussy, I leaned over and had him take this picture. His cum, my wetness. The dirt. A lot of dirt.
This is a fairly modest enterprise but I do hear from some of you that itās a go-to account ā which means the world! If you think thereās something special going on here, might you consider leaving me a review on Reddit or realonlyfanstreviews.com?
God I fucking love deep throat, especially when I can lick someoneās balls while theyāre all the way inside me. Blowjobs rule and I rule all blowjobs
I was back at it again on my parentās patio tonight. Hereās some footage of how our 15 or so minutes together ended.
I enjoyed the company of a friendly suburban dad (featured in another video a couple weeks ago). A couple of times a week, he stops by on his way home from work and moans for me in the dark as I give him the best head of his life. He fills my pussy or throat with cum and goes back to his family and I go to bed and play Animal Crossing.
I donāt love cheating and prefer not to get involved with situations that involve a third party getting hurt. But fuck, I cracked. Being home has triggered something in me. I look at every man I pass and think about dropping to my knees. I have been craving someone embedded in the culture of this suburb, someone who lives the domestic heterosexual life I once dreamed of. I want to bring him to my hedonist world, to drop unbridled pleasure into his lap and watch him get intoxicated on it. To leave him with a twitching in his cock, a longing that only I can fulfill.
Itās not exactly nice. I try to be nice. But every so often, I milk a married manās cock and take a fat load over my cheeks and chin. As a treat.
