CATCH OF THE DAY 🤤 There’s little more exhilarating than feeling a tug at your line and battling to reel in a fish.💥🎣 Whether it’s the one that got away or your biggest catch ever, either way, the highlight is the heart-racing thrill of the chase.🤩
To pursue someone we desire is much like fishing.🤤 Sartre warns that this turns people into an object to be possessed.🥺 Though different to hooking a fish, we want the object of our desire to choose us freely and willingly.😍 The element of choice makes the game of seduction all the more tense and exciting, but the fear of rejection makes it all the more terrifying.❤️🔥
To have the person you desire come freely brings a feeling of completeness that can’t be fucking beat.🥵 But the moment is fleeting, Sartre reminds us, because we soon realise they can never truly be ours.😢 The other person’s freedom means they are not a possession, and, in the end, our desire limits them.🤏 We’ll screw up the relationship if we can’t handle our desires, and end up following a bad pattern of moving on to the next pretty shiny thing after everything goes to shit.😵 However, if we strive for an authentic, mutually rewarding relationship, we’ll do the hard yards to relate our passions equally to our partner’s wants.😏 There is still thrill in hooking the fish, but learning to indulge in each other’s freedom is far fucking sexier than the chase.💞🤯
PRACTICED AND PERFECT 🍆😍 When looking at what we know, philosophy seems to be stuck in the mind.🧠 All fucking facts and beliefs.🧐 But in life, most of the knowledge we use is how to do things, not what things are. Like riding a bike.🚲 You can’t study riding a bike.🤓 You can’t learn from reading or watching videos.📖 Hearing from world experts does little good either.🗣️ You don’t use your mind to learn skills, you use your body.🤸♀️ You have to get on the bike and let your body figure out, in the real world, how to balance, peddle and steer. Mistakes happen continually, but your body slowly learns till it becomes effortless.😋 As they say, you never forget to ride a bike, because learning know-how becomes embodied - though we forget facts all the time.🤯
Philosophers like twentieth-century Englishman Gilbert Ryle saw knowing-how as just as important as knowing-what, maybe even more so because it breaks down the silly idea that we are just someone sitting in our head (a ‘ghost in the machine’).👻 Instead, we are our whole-body of sensations, which is why this idea is sexy as shit.🔥 Fucking is a know-how, not a know-what.🥵 Facts and advice may help a little, but the only way to learn how to fuck, and fuck well, is to practice, which means making mistakes.😓 But practice makes perfect.😎 And the wonderful thing is, when you start to feel like you are losing yourself in the moment, you’re actually moving your mind from behaving like a passenger in your head to a richer, truer sense of who you really are.😍
CULTURED COCK 🛫🍆 “Truth is relative.” Essentially meaning, with enough work, every opinion can be justified.🧐 The idea largely comes from the study of other cultures, which became popular in the early twentieth century.🧭 At the time, the search for truth was focused on language, with great minds like Wittgenstein saying we can’t conceive of something we can’t talk about.🙊 But when other cultures were studied, some languages were so different that doubt started to build.😲 Then, when it was realised that we can’t even depend on actions to define things, (Are they pointing at something? Or is it about their finger? 👉) the idea that truth is defined by culture took hold. This was then pushed to the extreme to say the same thing about individual opinions.💬 It all became a big bloody headache for philosophers.👿
What has this got to do with fucking?💦 Quite a lot actually. Different cultures do look at things in different ways – the Inuit culture has a lot more words for snow than western culture for example⛄ – but we all share common aspects of life, and fucking is one of them.😍 Rather than one take on sex, which would happen if every culture understood it in the same way🥱, we have rich diverse sexual behaviours spanning the world.🌎 Dipping into other cultural practices can be so fucking hot.🔥
Take an adventure into West Asia and you’ll find tantric sex with the Kama Sutra.🪷 Head into East Asia and indulge in Japanese rope bondage🪢 or jump to Europe where anal play is more part of the game.🍑 In Central Africa, sexuality is linked to creativity and female ejaculation is triggered using an ancient foreplay technique.💦 The more you explore the wonderful world of sex, the more you realise that as long as respect for one another is never breached, your imagination is the only limit.🤯 I don’t believe truth is relative, but I do believe that some truths are so laden with meaning there is no limit to how we can experience them.♾️That’s what makes our culturally diverse world as sexy as fuck. 🥵
WANT TO PLAY? 🫦 💦 No one wants to fuck someone only interested in themselves.🙁 Even when chances of getting off are few and far between, acting like a selfish prick doesn’t pay off.👎 Why? Ask Game Theory.♟️ Hitting the bigtime in the 1940s when genius geek John von Neumann🤓 worked out the maths proof, the idea of Game Theory has been around since the Ancient Greeks. But it was Thomas Hobbes in the 17th century who set the scene when he very clearly showed that everything would go to shit if we only thought about ourselves, or in his words, life would be “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.”⚔️ Thinking and giving a shit about others may seem like hard work💞, but the alternative is a lot fucking worse.🙈
The Prisoner’s Dilemma is the usual way to explain Game Theory, which can be recast in the bedroom using two different attitudes; trying to get your partner off 💦 or only thinking about yourself.😡 The ultimate experience is the double whammy of being a selfish prick and your partner trying to get you off.🤯 But this sucks for them and you’ll be lucky to get a second chance.🫷 If you are both selfish, then even if both get off, sex will get pretty boring pretty quick.🥱 So even if the result is not getting off themselves, both focusing on getting their partner to cum works best long-term, mainly because it means regular great fucking.👅 And every now and then - maybe on a cheeky birthday – one of you could be the sole focus and indulged to the next level.💥🤤
** See me at my hardest in paid posts, and subscribers also get exclusive videos 😍 **
SWING INTO SPRING 🍆👀 We can’t escape the seasons, that 23.5-degree tilt of the Earth means we are always swinging back and forth from the sun.🌞 But smack bang in March we hit the sweet spot: a time when it all balances up and everyone has the same length day.🌗 The equinox welcomed in spring and became one of the biggest parties of the year.🎉 It was such a big fucking deal that the Pyramids of Giza, the Angkor Wat temple in Cambodia and even five-thousand-year-old Irish tombs all have shit that line up with sun on this special day.🌄
The equinox party theme is rebirth.💞 Sometimes shit got crazy, (just check out the Festival of Dionysia, celebrating the Greek nutter God Dionysus) but it was usually celebrating nature getting hot and heavy.😏 Rebirth also became part of the way we understood how everything works.🤔 Plato thought the soul immortal and said our death was just part of a cycle of rebirth.🔄 Buddha, the cool Asiatic prince of the fifth century who started one hell of a movement, had the epiphany that everything in life follows birth and rebirth and the only way to stop the endless wheel of suffering was to realise the truth, thereby achieving nirvana.☸️ And while walking on the shores of a Swiss lake, Nietzsche realised the best way to see the importance of our actions is to think about time repeating in an endless cycle of rebirth, with all our actions repeating forever.🤯 Then, he said, you wouldn’t fuck around and waste your day!😵
Of course, the ideas of rebirth at this time of year became significant for religion.🛐 But it is mixed up with symbols like the rabbit🐰 and the egg🐣 we’ve been using for a hell of a lot longer. Importantly, rebirth doesn’t just happen, ask the birds and the bees. So, while you are enjoying your choccy eggs, remember what the day really meant for many thousands of years - that it was time to get off your ass and get fucking working.⏰🏗️ Time to start prepping for the year ahead. Time to leave the previous year behind.➡️ Time when rebirth is a real possibility for us all.💥 So long as we put in some effort. 💪 Become the legend you want to be and have a Happy Spring Equinox! 😍
GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY 🫶🌱💦 It’s a fucking understatement to say a lot has changed in the last few generations.😛 A hundred years ago, if you lived outside of a dense city centre, you probably had connections to the land one way or another. You lived rurally or your backyard more than likely had a veggie patch.🌱 Today, you’d be lucky to find a vegetable growing in suburbia with backyards of domesticated grass, entertainment areas and swimming pools.🏠 Our connection to the land is now the supermarket.🏪🙁
Does this matter? Of course it fucking does.😝 It’s not so much we’re all part of Mother Gaia bullshit – we were hunter gatherers🏹 a shit load longer than we’ve been growing crops – but more about losing a link with the world🌏, robbing ourselves of a great source of joy.😢
Ok, I know, the modern world brings a lot of advantages🔬🧪, but as philosopher Henry Thoreau claimed back in the 1850s, the luxuries of modern life might be actually getting in the fucking way of things.🛑 The reason for this, the legendary Thoreau says, is because appreciating nature just comes naturally - we simply feel it💞 - while material man-made things only have the value people place on them🤏. We may believe owning something like a car or house is necessary, but these may be the crappy things entrapping us and stopping us from properly connecting with the world🚧. And what happens if this shit continues? We start to get the wrong idea of reality, start to disconnect from it, and bring on a numbness caused by not being moved by the beauty around us.😭
Thoreau didn’t mean ‘pack your fucking bags and live in nature’ bullshit.⛺ Life in nature, in the raw, is what Thomas Hobbes, another legend philosopher, described as solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.⚠️☠️ But there is a balance.⚖️ We can’t help but learn from nature🔍 – we are hardwired into that shit🧬 – but you have to let nature in to do it.❤️ Grow some veggies, join a community garden, have pot-plants🪴, buy an aquarium, do whatever you can to bring some of the natural world into your material world. This even makes you a better person because your values don’t all come from man-made crap. 🤔 And best of all, when you open yourself up to the beauty of the natural world, you feel fucking good😁, and it may even inspire you to make change.🤩 All out of nothing really. Just looking at the world around us.👀 And that’s why hanging with nature is sexy as fuck. 🍂🍆🫦
MINDFUCK TIME 🧠👌👈 Go look at the night sky and think hard about what you can see. 👀 You may realise that you’re not looking at space at all but, actually, time in motion. ⌛ The moon appears how it was 1.3 seconds ago. 🌖 Venus, the brightest object after the moon, was 3 mins 46 seconds ago. The sun you see is from 8 minutes in the past☀️, and Jupiter, 33 minutes. Outside our solar system, Alpha Centauri is how it was 4.4 years ago⭐, while a burst of light astronomers have picked up called GRB 090423 formed 13 whole fucking billion years ago, 🔭 9 billion years before our solar system was even a speck of dust. 💥
Bringing it down to here and now and the device you are reading this on is not in the present but microseconds in the past.⏱️ If we think about what we can hear, we are in even deeper shit.🙉 Sound is 875,000 times slower than light, which is why thunder is so much slower than lightning. 🌩️ Bullets hurtle along at triple the speed of sound so there is no chance of hearing the gun with your name on it.😵 You may have the sensation that you are travelling along in the ‘now’, but the trippy truth is, the world around us sits firmly in the past. 🤯
This brings into question what the fuck time is. If it exists, we should be able to measure it. 📏 Some bright spark worked out that if you counted close to 9 billion little energy transfers in caesium atoms⚛️, then you’d get so close to one second that you only need to adjust a clock every 1.4 million years.🕰️ Sounds impressive as shit.🤓 Practical, yes, but remembering that time is infinite, 1.4 million years means fuck all.🤏 We’re still way off from the real answer.🤬
Believe it or not, the smart fucker who probably first correctly understood time lived 1600 years ago.🥇 His name was St Augustine, and he was trying to work out how the fuck God put the universe together. 🛠️ It is complex shit - modern quantum theories look like they are circling back to his ideas. 🔁 Put simply, the way we see time, with a past, present and future, is bullshit. If we all disappeared, it would all disappear with us. 👋 The past according to St Augustine is just a memory, whether we are counting seconds or thinking about 10 years ago. 💭 Only the big man upstairs experiences true time and sees how the universe really works. This means that when people baulk at the Earth and the heavens having been created in seven days, St Augustine said: Back off! 😠 Those were seven kick-ass ‘God’ days, not seven pathetic made-up human days. 🖕
Astronomy is hot as fuck.❤️🔥 So next time you want to impress, get out the telescope, treat your love to some kick-ass views of the moon, Saturn🪐 or Jupiter, and then hit them with this cool ‘time’ shit. 🫦🥵 The next question you’ll be asking is what they’d like for breakfast. 😏🥞
** See my paid posts to catch me in my prime 🍆🥵 **
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! 🩷🫦 Love as we know it is a relatively new idea. 💞 To fall in love, to adore from afar, to have a soulmate, just wasn’t a thing once upon a time. Why? Because we weren’t monogamous and could fuck anyone who took our fancy. Monogamy creates a tension between moral ideas on how we should live 🧠 and our primal instincts 👅, creating a feeling we now call love. 💘
We didn’t use the word love ‘til around 400 years ago. Before then, we only talked about romance. 👩❤️👨🥂 But Romance literally means ‘doing it in the Roman style’, so it all started with people pointing at Romans thinking, “What the fuck are they doing?” “Why the fuck is he buying her flowers?” 💐 “Why doesn’t he just fuck her??” 😵💫
Then we hit the medieval ages, and more importantly, the printing press. 📖 The original Harlequin novel is called King Arthur and the Round Table. 🗡️ And the gentry lapped that shit up. 🥵 Turning romance into a crazy codes of chivalry and literally fucking dying so some chick would notice you. 😘 And don’t get me fucking started on Romeo and Juliet. Juliet was 13 years old, for fuck’s sake. Shakespeare was a bit of a perve. 🤔
And to deliver the kiss of death, Valentine’s Day is really a celebration about Saint Valentine, who was martyred or killed for his beliefs in the third century. 💀 And honestly, he really didn’t give a shit about romance or what the Romans did. He died for harbouring Christians - like many people were killed in World War 2 for harbouring Jewish people. 😢 Attempts to connect him with Valentine’s Day and romance have been tried many times throughout history, but they are pretty shit – the best they can get is a legend saying he wrote a card 💌 to the daughter of his gaoler, like wtf?? ⁉️ Martyrs at that time usually died horrible deaths, so I’m sure he had other shit on his mind. 😵
So, on this 14th February, celebrate a feeling we once never had, on a day named after a bloke who really didn’t give a shit about romance. Happy Valentine’s! 💝
HELLENISTIC THIRST TRAPPERS 💪 👀 ❤️🔥 The impression exists that the great Greek philosophers were a bunch of balding, tubby old men sitting around bullshitting while sipping wine 🍷, when nothing could be further from the truth❎ ‼️
Socrates was famously short and ugly, but he was also a fucking muscle-bound war hero who charged headlong into the enemy during the Peloponnesian War to rescue captured officers. 🙌🎖️ Plato wrestled competitively, his coach giving him the name Plato which literally means ‘broad shouldered’. 🤼♂️ 🏆 Some historians also think Aristotle may have been a keen pentathlete in his youth given his passion and admiration of the sport. 💓🏃
The ancient Greeks were the first to see the potential of the Gods in their own flesh, 💫 where everyone could be a hero, where fate was not bound by the past. They truly were the first superheroes 🦸and drew amazement and fear from the rest of antiquity. 😲😱 History will always remember the 300 Spartans legends, led by the immortal King Leonidis 😎, and reinforced by only a few thousand-armed workers, who held back a Persian army of between 200,000-300,000 troops led by the hugely powerful Xerxes the Great, King of Kings. ⚔️ It is no exaggeration to say we owe the existence of our free world to these superheroes 🌍, who fell in the end from betrayal, but giving the rest of Greece precious time to prepare and fight Xerxes on both land and sea to defeat a near invincible foe. 👊 🤩 🎉
Of all the amazing wisdom Socrates has to bestow, take away what I believe to be one of his most important quotes, ⚠️ “…it is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” 💪 😍
IS HOUSEWORK SEXY? 🧽🧹 ❤️🔥🫦 Maybe in raunchy underwear 🩲, but generally, the answer is no.👎 Philosophy disagrees, of course, and sees magic in mundane dusting and mopping. 🤓🪄
It’s easy to kill the mood if you have dirty sheets, leave your stuff everywhere and get the place smelling like garbage.🤢💔 But there is much more to housework than clearing things away. Housework, or any work for that matter, transforms you. Using only our hands we can be pretty hopeless, but picking up a broom transforms us into a complexity that can move dust and sand around the floor with ease. Like superheroes🦸, we gain special powers to make change and create the type of world we want to live in.🌎😊
Housework is sexy because it sets the scene. It sweeps away the barriers to lay the groundwork for a fucking incredible sexual experience.💖 It allows you both to concentrate on each other without distraction.👨❤️💋👨 Housework shows your partner how fucking amazing you think they are because it is an expression of giving love, respect and caring, which is about as sexy as you can get. 💝💋
Lastly, take enough pride in housework, and like all work, it is elevated to an artform.👩🎨😎 And, art is extremely powerful.💪⚡ Art is one of the few things which can spontaneously create action, change behaviour and shape culture. Art can literally stop you in your tracks in shock and awe and make you rethink everything.🤯 Art changes lives- and housework, believe it or not, has this power. It goes deeper than respect for your partner, as art is aimed at elevating the entire human experience, changing how we see the world. 👀🧠 This is another way of saying housework is so sexy it can make the universe cum!⭐💦💥
TOO MUCH XMAS? 🎅🥳 I hope you didn’t overindulge this Christmas, but then, that’s what it’s all about isn’t it? 😋
Pampering the senses with decorations, lights, carols and Christmas feasts. 🎉🍻 Lavishing each other with parties, gifts, and oft-times, new experiences. 😍🎁 And it’s something we’ve been doing for thousands of years.
To celebrate the passing of winter, the Ancient Greeks held the festival of Haloa around the same time as Christmas. While the men made all the preparations, the women drank and devoured cock-shaped cakes. 🥂 Later, everyone sang and danced the night away around a bonfire, talking dirty. 🫦👅 Yep, those Ancient Greeks knew how to party - as well as do philosophy.
Indulging ourselves is a fucking great part of being alive, and it’s wonderful that we have a specific time of year to loosen up and devote ourselves to celebration. 🎇🥰
