These last couple of weeks have been weird for me. Writing o..

These last couple of weeks have been weird for me. Writing out my thoughts is a nice way to better understand myself, but posting my thoughts... I guess it so *you* guys better understand where I'm coming from. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do and that maybe this isn't it. It's pretty much the same as I left it. And yeah, I blame myself. I didn't promote enough, I didn't cam enough, I just didn't do enough for exposure to get to where I thought I wanted to be. Maybe I just wasn't really cut out for it, or maybe I just wasn't what people wanted. I started out in the industry making custom videos on a weird site I'd never heard of. But for the most part, I had to look for requests that I could fill. I wasn't sought after, not really. I happened to be one of the few people willing to make videos for people who wanted something custom on a request board for cheap because I needed the money, and any amount helped. And then once I started to get people requesting from *me*, I was surprised and researched around the site how much to charge. I realized I should up my worth, but got fewer and fewer takers. Same thing happened with camming. I was hella fucking nervous to start and I was already living with the bf and his family so I had to be quiet, which was a bit of a negative but I tried it anyway. I saw other girls charging like 2222 tokens just to take off their shirt. I tried to make mine a bit more reasonable, not cheap, but still ended up having to lower my goals so that when the real show started, if it did, I could possibly get more people in to watch, which meant I was taking everything off at the same amount other girls were charging just for the shirt. Even then it was a struggle of "Am I going to make enough tonight? Am I even going to get to nakey?" It was a ton of stress that I couldn't handle at the time because I was already trying to study towards something else. I couldn't put my all into camming and content because I didn't have the time or energy or privacy for all the hours of work it takes to remain relevant. Camming was meant to be something temporary to help me through school, and I am thankful to everyone who could and did help me. I left the industry for various reasons, including I could make the same amount a night or more working a vanilla job. That's how bad it got. Don't get me wrong: camming was great and fun because I got to hang out with people and we could do stuff and I could get as creative as I wanted. It just wasn't viable in the long run. I knew it wouldn't last long and people don't really realize how much BTS stuff really happens. It's not just 5 hours camming a day for several days. It's hours and hours of planning on what kind of show would be unique and entertaining for people to want to come in and watch and tip, having to buy lingerie and props and toys for those ideas, trying to come up with games and sales, filming and shooting content that would most likely be sold as a bundle for cheaper, etc. And OF is about the same. I tried to up my value again because I felt like I was offering more than other people on the platform, but I guess that's not what makes people stay? I've posted every day, multiple times a day, with different themes for each day of the week. There's an exclusive tip menu only available to subs, I only get nakey here now, only 1 PPV every week which includes early access to content before they're posted anywhere else and exclusive videos only available through here, and anyone could PM me whenever because I'd be online all day anyway. And yet, the monthly sub is too much for people. So now idk if I should just offer less for a lower subscription, maybe get rid of the free OF because no one's active on there either, or get rid of this one and stay with the free OF. Idk. Anyway, sorry for the super long rant thing lolz. Or sorry to those that read the whole thing anyway. Maybe I should make a TLDR. TLDR: The sex industry sucks! No pun intended.