coming back from florida def has sucked a little bit. as you..

coming back from florida def has sucked a little bit.
as you guys know a lot happened before our vacation. during our whole vacation it became a thing of the past. i enjoyed my vacation and was glowing.
i decided during my vacation i’m gonna move forward.
give up sexwork.
this may would’ve been five years doing what i love.
august would be 3 years doing it fulltime.
it’s sad that others envy me and hate me that much.
to the point they had to dig up stuff from so long ago.
cancel me. i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t heartbroken.
having to give up this job.
it’s the one job i worked so hard at.
it’s the one job i’ve managed to keep.
it’s the one place i felt like i belonged.
it was the only job i felt successful.
but as long as i’m kiki on socials and not myself.
i will continue to get harassed and bullied.
so i have to unfortunately step away.
people are still going with the whole bit.
which i know i’m not the person they say i am.
so that doesn’t bother me but i know it’ll affect me.
if i stay and i won’t be successful.
bc people are literally watching my NSFW socials.
to make sure i leave the community.
anybody who follows me or is friends with me.
have been getting harassed and messaged. it sucks.
so time to close the curtains. a big RIP to kiki.
feels like i’m losing a big part of me.

which is why giving up sexwork sucks so badly.
i’ve put so much into it for years.
it’s gotten me by this whole time.
i was finally seeing SO MUCH success.
but i guess all good things have to come to an end.
all the money i spent on lingerie and toys and props.
all the time i spent editing and promoting and posting. all the videos and shoots i did. it breaks my heart.
the connections i made whether it was other creators. or regulars. this job has gotten me by.
when nowhere would hire me back in 2022.
and i haven’t looked back.
it’s scary now jumping back into it.
trying to find a decent job that’ll hire me.
i’m not built to work for some work with my autism.
and mental illnesses stop me.
as i get very overstimulated and overworked easily.
so looking for anything better will be a struggle.
i’m so nervous. it’s been so long.

but i’m ready for this new chapter. goodbye for now.

and this isn’t defeat or running away by any means.
but i must do what’s best for myself and my life.
this isn’t me throwing up a white flag.
it’s closing the book and writing a new story for myself. starting over.

thank you guys for all the support.
thank you to everybody who believed in me. this sucks. maybe someday i’ll come back and rebrand.
but as of right now i’m leaving for good.
for my own peace and sanity.
thank you for an amazing 5 years everybody.

maybe i’ll come back at some point but right now idk.