Did you ever sit at work doing nothing, bored out of your mi..

Did you ever sit at work doing nothing, bored out of your mind just waiting to go home… and do nothing. Been there. Tick Tock, tick tock. It’s times like these I like to touch myself. I can’t tell if I’m masturbating because I’m bored or because I’m horny. Just saying. Blowing @u125291845 It’s funny how people trust stuff, no matter what. Like soap dispensers. People always assume there is soap in the soap dispensers. I like to fill mine with silicone lube just to teach them a lesson. If this happens to you, don’t shit yourself. I know it seems hard to get off and you will forever be stuck with slippery fingers. But with a little shampoo or conditioner, presto, it’s gone. Dishwashing liquid works as well… it’s basically shampoo. That is “Ho trick number 72a. That one is free. The next one is 5 bucks. Stay with me here, I’ll keep you up to speed. So, I’m hanging out with some “proper” ladies. They all know what I do, but I think they keep me around so it adds a bit of edge to their little group. I do what I can not to disappoint. One has been married for 24 years and never given a blowjob. Wow. So my next question was, have you ever been eaten out? Of course she hasn’t. It’s too gross down there. So I ask the others the same question and they don’t want to answer but the general consensus was yes, they have given head and received as well. Not often, mind you, but they get an “A” for effort. So, I try to describe the thrill and benefits of both giving and receiving head, but she just isn’t getting it. Actually, none of them are. So I decide a visual aid is what we need to sink things in. So I break out the phone and show them this video you are, were, or will be watching on this post. It was like a horror movie to them, but they all watched the entire clip. I hadn’t edited it yet, so it was like two minutes long. Then they watched it again. I’m thinking, proudly I might add, my work is done here. At the end, I got all the required “we are so shocked” comments. You know, generally the “How could you?” comments. I’m like, hey, you invited me, you know who I am, who did you think was going to show up? And we moved on. Why am I telling you all of this nonsense? Because this morning I get a text from not just one, but two of them. The first one was from “J” names are not complete to protect the somewhat innocent. J wants to tell me she had the best sex of her life last night and wants to know where she can get more videos to watch. She does not know how to find porn on the web. WTF? So I tell her where to look. I’m thinking this chick is 48, 48 fucking years old, and she is just now discovering the power of her box? In a way, I am so happy for her and in another so sad. She spent most of her adult life sexless. I picture the sex she had as a once a month or so chore to get over with. She is going to be vagina dynamite now. Hell, her vagina is probably reaching nuclear strength explosion at this point. Her poor husband. I bet he cheated. He won’t have to anymore. This chick has gone into full dick beast mode. I’ve been there, dicks will get hurt. Once you cum, I mean really cum, it’s all in the rear-view mirror. It’s full speed ahead and nothing is going to stop you. I wish her safe travels. On to the next chick. My oral virgin. Yes! I made a believer out of her. She simply texts “I did it!” with a big smiley face. I write back, “Congrats!” I am feeling pretty good about myself, about this time when she texts back with a picture of her taking a selfie with a dick in her mouth. Brought tears to my eyes. I know her husband was probably crying like a baby with tears of joy. Married 24 years and never got a blowjob… from her, that is. I’ve seen him, he’s a good-looking guy. He could get a blowjob, no problem. The question remained, though, did he go down on her. Turns out he wanted to, but she couldn’t get past herself. This is where it gets a bit awkward. She apparently has a rain forest going on down there bush wise. She wants it trimmed up, so I told her pitter patter get at her. She doesn’t know how and is afraid she will cut herself. Oh for fuck’s sake, billions of women everyday get through this successfully but OK. I tell her to go get a trim at a manicure place. She isn’t having it. She is too embarrassed. She wants me to help her. Normally, not a problem. However, this chick is hot. In a super hot conservative MILFY kind of way. I don’t know that I could help myself. I will probably end up licking her and telling her it will keep the shave bumps down. I am discovering that I have a rather unique set of life problems. Yes, I am going to do it. I haven’t told her but lets just be honest here. I am dying to see her naked. Creepy, I know, but then again, you only live once. I will keep you posted on the events that transpire in this matter. If I have a black eye, the next time you see me, you will know things went horribly wrong. Catch you all later!