Ok, here we go. Possibly the dumbest video I have ever made..

Ok, here we go. Possibly the dumbest video I have ever made, one that I thought up. I have made some seriously stupid videos for companies, but I can’t take the credit for that level of stupidity. Porn was so much better when it was stupid. It was fun to shoot, fun to watch. Now when you shoot a porn, you get that uneasy feeling, wondering what you're about to step into. Oh, the days of VHS. They were king. Anyway, back to my stupid porn. Yes, I actually thought this one up. No, the gun wasn’t loaded. Somebody will ask me that. The dude was no Brad Pitt, that’s for sure, but his dick got hard and he could dump a serious load. If you can actually make it from start to finish watching this video… you sir are a better man than me. I’m not a man, but you get the idea. Fun fact. I have never masturbated to this video. What would be even funnier if I told Jesus I was addicted to masturbating, and he said, “cum to me, we will beat this together.” I’m just saying… it would be funny. Ah fuck, now I’ve gone and offended the religious crowd. Sorry. Everyone is offended these days. Can we still put “Tranny fluid” in cars now or are we using “gender neutral shift juice?” Asking for a friend. I’m wearing yoga pants, sitting in a hotel room, and I can see the outline of my clit in the mirror. Thought you should know that. It’s good. Information to have. Guys shouldn’t wear yoga pants. If my clit shows, can you imagine what would happen to your dick? Wait. Maybe guys should wear yoga pants. Yes, yes, they should. I don’t see a problem with showing the outline of your junk. Chicks show their nips poking through their shirt all the time. I know I do. I like guys to see them. So, fair is fair, and I am all for the window shopping aspect of guys in yoga pants. I might be sharing too much here. I am going to have to get a new trainer. I guess I will have to go to another gym and see what I can find. I have this thing about fucking my own personal trainer. He just isn’t biting. I tried to get flirty with him via text today, nothing doing. I can take a hint. I will bow out, do the loser dance, and then hit another trainer up for his dick. I’m easy that way. Whatever happened to just sticking your dick into a girl? Remember those days? Now it’s complicated. They have to check with their wives, all that goofy shit. Mid 80s was fantastic. I had hot studs sticking it in almost every damn day. I was impaled on penis more than I wasn’t. Hi, my names Brooke, care to ejaculate inside of me? Fantastic! Lets get you ejaculating right away then! Not anymore. We have to exchange tests, wear condoms, and I fucking despise condoms, make sure our feeling are in check and simpatico, all that good stuff. Did I mention I despise condoms? Well, I do. They feel like; I don’t know, a condom. A tiny garbage bag rubbing me raw. But, if I don’t know you, a hefty bag for cocks is in your future. In all these years I avoided catching a nasty, it would thrill me to go out pitching a no hitter if you know what I mean. I hate to waste a load of jizz in the tip of a condom. It’s almost a crime. I tried to drink out of a condom once. I almost puked immediately. It’s funny. Sperm is perfectly delicious fresh from the little slit of your cock head. Toss it in a condom and boom, pure disgusting. I do have a video where I had a guy drink his own cum out of condom. It’s older but if you want to see it I will post it. He seemed fine with it. Did way better with it than my pathetic attempt. I have determined that I am not a sex addict. I have restless groin syndrome. Also known as RGS. Cool. Never ask your date how much lube you need for anal sex. It’s always a “buttload.” The answer never changes. Just some helpful information you may or may not need.