Man, I turned down a visit with Rob’s dick because I wasn’t ..

Man, I turned down a visit with Rob’s dick because I wasn’t sure if I was going to be good to fuck due to my cold and flu status. I wish I hadn’t. I’m good to go, and I know I’m back and ready to roll because my clit is in a constant state of chubby. It needs to feel the head of his dick pushing inside me. I texted him, but I haven’t heard back. I got my fingers crossed. If there was ever a time I could use his massive penis rooting around in my guts, it’s now.

When random guys tell me they have a big dick, and it happens more than you would think, I like to tell them, “Mine is bigger.” It throws them off their game. A guy once replied to me that he wore size 14 shoes, and you know what they say about guys with big feet? I said, “They wear bigger socks?” Instant game over, and player status was removed.

Professional victims abound these days. They feel entitled to say whatever they want and expect no pushback. I don’t know why they think that way. I was called unhealthy by a stranger who was an obvious visiting early bird for Bike Week because I was “Too skinny.” It isn’t natural to be thin like I am, especially with boobs my size. I was going to have back problems.” I mean, thanks for the unsolicited medical advice and all of that but what the fuck? So, when I replied to this lady while glancing at her belly while she sat on a barstool, that it wasn’t healthy to be as wide as you are tall, she replied it was her natural healthy weight. Being heavy runs in her family. To which I replied, “You’re not heavy because it runs in the family; you're heavy because nobody runs in your family.” And it went downhill from there. I should really learn to shut up.

Look, I know. It’s not nice to say things about people's weight. But that goes in both directions. I could have been the bigger person and just smiled at her. The thing is, I never met her before, and for some reason, the privilege she must feel to comment on my physical appearance in a lecturing kind of way just made me want to poke her in the eye. So, I did. Which kind of ruined both of our dinners. I’d be lying if I didn’t say “Worth it!”

How do you get your man to do things? Let him put his dick in you. It’s that’s simple. Need the lawn mowed? Easy one. Mow the lawn, and you can slip it in me. Works for just about everything. Just saying. Pretty much a win-win for both parties. I never understood why chicks just cut the sex off. If there is one phrase that makes me nauseous the second, I hear it, it’s “He should love me for who I am, sex or no sex!” Fuck I hate when they say that. It’s doubling down on stupid. Why would he love you for the sexless person you have become? Wait though…shouldn’t you love them for being the sexual person he is? Yes…you should. So shut up and stick his dick in one of your holes for fucks sake. If you give it a smidgen of effort, you might even learn to like it. If you really don’t want to fuck in any capacity, then start budgeting him a once-a-week happy-ending massage. It’s just like paying someone else to mow your lawn. The grass gets cut and everyone is happy in the end.